Kagome's High School Parody
by TheyCallMeArjun
Summary: Tired of the usual cliche high school fanfics? Join Kagome on her hilariously wacky parody of the tragedy that is the high school fanfic!
1. Chapter 1

**The following is a parody of the infamous cliché that is InuYasha high school fanfictions! If you love these specific type of fanfictions and think you will be offended, please stop here. The story's in Kagome's point of view. No flames please. Constructive criticism is always accepted. Enjoy!**

Hello everybody on Earth and beyond! My name is Kagome Higurashi, I'm your average high school student in a not so average high school. That school is called Feudal Shikon High School. Yeah, that's right. Nothing out of the ordinary with that name.

My friends are Sango Taijiya, Miroku Houshi, and Ayame and Koga Ookami, no relations. There's clearly nothing wrong with the name Sango Demon Slayer or Miroku Monk. One more thing about Sango, she's a raging tomboy. Pretty much her mission in life is to make me look better. Go feminine power!

My most hated enemies are Kikyo and InuYasha. I hate them. I hate them. I _hate_ them! Every single ounce of my hate belongs to those two! Why, you might ask? I don't know. I'm just trying to fill the plot here. Work with me!

At this moment, I'm in my bed, held in the arms of blissful sleep, when a screeching alarm sounds through my ears. Using the strength of the Incredible Hulk, I smash my alarm clock like every teenage girl does in the morning.

"Kagome smash stupid alarm clock. Kagome is strongest there is!" I said, referring to myself in the third person.

"Kagome, dear, did you break another alarm clock? Why can't you just press the button on top instead?" My mother's voice sounded from the floor below.

"Come on mom, the clock was begging to be smashed." I "reasoned" with my mother.

"Yes, just like the last dozen were, right Bruce Banner?"

"Now you're seeing things my way." I said proudly. Of course I broke the damned thing. What teenage girl doesn't wake up and smash their alarm clocks? The strange ones I tell ya…

After my victory, I fist pumped as I made my way to the shower. After I was finished, I made my way downstairs in slow motion clad in my *insert lame, unnecessary, and just plain out stupid description of my outfit here*. Oh yes, I was dressed for success!

I walked outside of the shrine grounds and strolled to my *insert lame, unnecessary, and just plain out stupid description of my car here*. This car always has them drooling.

I hopped into my car, turned it on, and cranked up the volume on my radio. Oh Em Gee, my favorite song comes on!

_Lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics_

_Lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics._

I take the time to reflect on how this song defines me. Is it a coincidence that every single song that's on the radio at any given moment describes me somehow? NAH!

I wind down my window so everyone can hear my beautiful voice.

_Lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics._

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a guy put up his hand with a finger extended. I instantly assumed he was merely waving so I responded with loud, "Hey there, stranger!" Of course he wouldn't be angry enough to flip me off. That's just silly.

I finally arrive at the building known Feudal Shikon High School. It was crappy. The roof was halfway torn off, the walls looked like they've been bulldozed, and there was a bouncer at the front. Every responsible parent allows their children to attend such a fine establishment. No seriously…

As I parked and exited my vehicle I spotted _him_. You see how "him" was in italics? You'll see why in a second.

"Hey bitch. What's up?" InuYasha, the dark-haired man, "inquired" rudely.

"Who you calling bitch, asshole?" Yeah my comebacks were all that and a mud pie.

"Shut up, wench. You don't get any smarter do you?" InuYasha replied.

"Wench? Who the hell calls someone a wench?" Random, unimportant, nameless man #1 questioned.

Miroku and Sango showed up just in time to see InuYasha and I kicking the crap out of each other. Yeah, this was a totally normal event.

"Shouldn't we like stop this or something?" Random, unimportant, nameless man #2 asked. He was a kind man, always thinking of the wellbeing of others. If only he had a name…

"Nah, this happens all the time." Sango stated as I threw InuYasha through one of the unstable walls of FSHS.

Miroku used my fight with InuYasha as a distraction and groped Sango ass through her khakis. Did I mention Sango's a tomboy? Well she is…

"Uppercut!" Sango roared as her fist soared up into Miroku's jaw. He flew up in the air and out of sight.

"Seriously, I think I'm going to transfer." Random, unimportant, nameless man #2 wisely stated. It seemed he was the only person with half a goddamn brain cell in this school.

Time stopped as the next person entered the scene. Kikyo. She stepped in wearing a *insert lame, unnecessary, and just plain out slutty description of Kikyo's outfit here*. Do her parents approve of this? Hell, they're probably the ones that dress her.

GRRRRRRR! Yeah it's necessary to growl every time Kikyo's name is said.

"Hey slut." Kikyo addressed me. Why the hell is everyone just out to get me today? First my alarm clock, then InuYasha, now Kikyo. It's a conspiracy, I tell you.

"Shut up Kinky-Hoe! At least my skirt doesn't look like a belt!" God, I'm so damn clever. I stated that like boss.

"Wow! Kinky-Hoe is the most original non-overused insult ever used to describe an anime character written in a fanfiction! Kudos to you Kagome! Kikyo," grrrr "your name is now Kinky-Hoe!" Random, unimportant, nameless man #1 praised me and my originality.

InuYasha, who just stood up from the hole in the wall came over and patted me on the back. Even though we're mortal enemies, he knows genius when he sees it.

Everyone looked up when we heard the telltale sign of Miroku's return to the planet. InuYasha took a big step backward as Miroku's descent came to an end. He's perfectly fine though. He's Miroku after all.

"I-I'm ok."

**EDITED!  
>So that's chapter one for you guys. Don't be disappointed. This is the first of many! Any questions regarding the story, feel free to ask. Reviews are greatly appreciated! Till next time.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**What's Up ? You guys good? Well here's another chapter for your reading pleasure. I don't own InuYasha**

Hey guys, Kagome here again. With me are my friends, Sango, Miroku, Random, unimportant, nameless man #1, and my enemies InuYasha, and Kikyo. Grrrr.

"Hey Kagome, can I see your schedule for a second?" Sango asked me. She looked it over, comparing it to her own.

"Wow! We have all the same classes! Isn't that great?" Sango exclaimed. Yes, we ALWAYS have the same classes. Problem probability?

"That is great! The only problem is I have to have classes with Kinky-Hoe and InuYasha." I muttered.

"Kinky-Hoe is still original! This joke won't ever get old!" Random, unimportant, nameless man #1 stated the obvious. Of course it won't get old. I mean, it's not like it's used in every single fanfiction involving Kikyo and an author who hates her character. That's just preposterous!

"Kagome, you're breaking it." InuYasha spoke cryptically.

"Breaking what?" I questioned.

"The fourth-fucking-wall!" InuYasha screamed.

"Oh yeah."

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

Now we are making our way to our first class, that by some strange feat of mathematics, we all have together. That class is math. Ironic, huh?

"Hello class, my name is Mr. Ukitake. I will be teaching you math!" Our teacher said.

At this time, Kinky-Hoe decided to stroll in.

"Oh yes, and you are?" Mr. Ukitake inquired.

"My name is Kik-"

"Her name is Kinky-Hoe!" Random, unimportant, nameless man #1 corrected.

"Okay, Ms. Hoe. You may take a seat over there in front of Ms. Higurashi." Mr. Ukitake said.

Kikyo, Grrrr, made her way towards her seat, all the while grinding on random, unimportant, nameless man #2.

Random, unimportant, nameless man #2 shrieked as Kinky-Hoe's ass pressed against him.

He met his end, as his head exploded.

We all bowed our heads. Everyone knew this was going to happen. Kinky-Hoe has like a gazillion STD's even though no one in her family has an STD, and she never engaged in any sexual activity. When life hands you a Kikyo, shut the hell up and call her Kinky-Hoe.

"Well, now that a student's head exploded, let's get started on today's lesson. Today, we will focus on solving and graphing linear equa-"

And so, he was tuned out.

I looked to my left as Sango threw a piece of paper at my head.

_**"I think we need to create Kinky-Hoe repellent." **_I pondered this silently. After my moment of deep thought, I quickly scribbled down my response underneath Sango's writing and snuck the paper back to Sango.

_**"More like a Kinky-Swatter. If she can blow up someone's head on contact, we need to be armed."**_ Sango and I shared serious look of affirmation.

"-and make sure you memorize those procedures. They will a necessity if you want to pass tomorrow's major test. And one more thing-"

And once again, he was tuned out.

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

Most of the day went by like math class: everybody having the same classes, tuning the teacher out, Kikyo killing more random, unimportant, nameless men, and Miroku being uppercutted a few light years away; that is, until lunch.

Kinky-Hoe had brought in a radio. She slammed it on top of Miroku's lunch and cranked it on.

"Wow. I wasn't going to eat that or anything." Miroku muttered to himself.

A song came on and Kikyo, grrr, started grinding and swaying.

_Lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics_

_Lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics_

Everyone in the cafeteria was stone-faced.

_Lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics_

_Lyrics lyrics lyrics_

"Will you shut the fuck up!" InuYasha screamed at the top of his lungs. "What the hell is this, High School fucking Musical?"

Sango, Miroku, everyone in the cafeteria, including myself started to cheer on InuYasha.

"That's why I love him!" I exclaimed hopping on InuYasha's back.

"Didn't she hate him like an hour ago?" Miroku asked reaching toward Sango's ass.

"Side Kick!" Sango screamed a battle cry as she kicked him in the stomach effectively sending him into orbit.

"Sob, sob, cry cry." Kinky-Hoe mourned. "You guys don't know what I go through! *Insert stupid, unreasonable description of Kikyo's past that no one gives a damn about that's supposed to make you feel bad for her, yet still hate her because she's Kikyo.* None of you could walk one damn day in my sho-"

Someone in the cafeteria farted.

The whole cafeteria broke out into laughs, completely ignoring Kikyo's story. Kinky-Hoe ran out the cafeteria in tears mumbling something about suicide. Heh, must be French or something.

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

At the end of the day, we were ready to go back home. Miroku still hadn't come back from his orbit, and Ayame and Koga didn't come in time to be important characters.

"Bye InuYasha, Sango, Miroku, see you guys tomorrow." I spoke my farewell to my friends.

As we all left, Ayame and Koga made their appearance.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" Ayame called out.

"Are we too late to be important characters?"

Miroku's orbit had come to an end as he flew through the wall of the building.

"I-I think broke every bone in my body." Miroku said weakly.

"Uhh, Miroku, where'd you just come from?" Ayame asked him looking absolutely confused.

"From the depths of love."

**EDITED!  
>Well how was it? Like it, hate it? Anything I need to improve on? Reviews are always appreciated.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Huzzah! This chapter is brought to you by sexy beast Nuggetzz. Enjoy! Written in Kagome's POV.**

"Has anyone seen Kinky-Hoe since that time in the cafeteria?" I questioned curiously.

_**Flashback**_

_"Sob, sob, cry cry." Kinky-Hoe mourned. "You guys don't know what I go through! Insert stupid, unreasonable description of Kikyo's past that no one gives a damn about that's supposed to make you feel bad for her, yet still hate her because she's Kikyo. Not one of you could walk one damn day in my sho-"_

_Someone in the cafeteria farted._

_The whole cafeteria broke out into laughs, completely ignoring Kikyo's story. Kinky-Hoe ran out the cafeteria in tears mumbling something about suicide. Heh, must be French or something._

"Eh, probably having a bad hair month or something. You know, Kinky-Hoe stuff." Sango said nonchalantly.

"The joke never gets old! I love you guys!" Random, unimportant nameless man #1 yelled giving us all bro fists.

Yeah, summing it all up, no one's seen Kikyo in a month and InuYasha and I are dating, as well as Sango and Miroku. Who saw that crap coming? What a twist!

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

InuYasha and I were walking through the hallway, hand-in-hand while people through roses at our feet. Sango and Miroku followed suit, and random, unimportant nameless man #1 skipped merrily around us. What a fun guy.

As we walked through the school's hallways, random, unimportant nameless man #1 noticed a voice coming from the broom closet.

A sinister laugh was heard from the closet. "These fools took my love from me. Just wait till they see my TRUE form."

"Naraku, no one wants to see your penis." Random, unimportant nameless man #1 said in disgust.

"That's not what I meant by true form, fool." Naraku stated defensively.

"Yeah right. What the hell are you doing in there anyway?"

"Plotting the downfall of all pathetic life forms that attends this worthless institution."

"Oh that's cool. Well, see you later creepy closet creeper."

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

"Who were you talking to back there?" InuYasha inquired. Everyone knows random, unimportant nameless man #1 was a child prodigy. So everyone was shocked when we saw him talking to a door.

"Creepy Closet Creeper. He's a fun guy." Random, unimportant nameless man #1 said while shrugging.

We trusted his judgment. He is random, unimportant nameless man #1 after all.

"Hey Miroku, you haven't been launched around the world by one of Sango's superhuman attacks in a while." I commented.

"Yeah, no wonder my health has been improving." Miroku remarked.

"Did you guys hear about the dance that's coming up?" Random, unimportant nameless man #1 informed us.

"That ought to be fun. Sango let's go get our dresses, our makeup, and our weapons." I said enthusiastically.

"Our weapons?" Sango questioned.

"Yeah, cause the plot's going to make so much sense." I said while dragging Sango behind me out the school.

"School's not over yet is it?" InuYasha asked Miroku who just shrugged and said, "It's not even halfway over."

"What do you think of this Random, unimportant nameless #1?" InuYasha inquired.

"I think those two deserve the rest of the day off." Random, unimportant nameless man #1 spoke while break dancing between Miroku and InuYasha.

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

Sango and I walked to the mall while singing because we were so happy and everyone loves hearing to high school girls screechin- I mean singing on the streets.

_Lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics_

_Lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics lyrics_

Are you inspired yet?

We walked into the mall with our eyes homing in on the dress store. Like sharks stalking a fish, we darted into the store, our eyes expertly scanning the store's inventory.

After a little under an hour, we found our dream dresses.

My dress was a *insert a pointless description of Kagome's dress that most readers won't even read here.* Am I fine or what?

Sango's dress was a* insert a pointless description of Sango's dress that most readers won't even read here.* She makes me question my sexuality sometimes.

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

"I still can't believe they just walked right out of the school." Miroku stated in disbelief.

Koga and Ayame chose this time to stroll in through the doors.

"Koga, Ayame, what are you two doing here?" InuYasha asked them surprised.

"Making an impact on the story?" Koga said uncertainly.

Everyone took a second to look at him and exploded in a fit of laughter.

"Good joke." Miroku spoke through his laughter.

**EDITED!  
>It's kind of short but the next chapter is probably going to be the last and I felt like splitting the chapter in two. Deal with it.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Time for the Finale! Can I get a HUZZAH? Well I finally got around to looking at my reviews, favorites, and follows for this story and I got the biggest shit-eating grin. I really have to thank you guys. Keep being amazing! Anyway, you know the drill. This is written in Kagome's POV. Also, for plot purposes, let's pretend that this is a formal dance.**

"The dance is tonight and we haven't even gotten our suits. What the hell is wrong with us?" InuYasha said dejectedly.

"Cheer up, InuYasha. We're supposed to be stupid; it makes everything interesting!" Miroku spoke cheerfully.

"You cheeky, optimistic bastard. Come on; let's go on a shopping montage!"

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

"Our boyfriends better look even hotter than us." Sango said with an underlying threat.

"Impossible. You can't top perfection." I stated. Seriously, you can't top perfection. Don't try to.

"Kagome, you messed up your perfect make-up!" Sango exclaimed in horror as my lipstick strayed a tenth of an inch off her lips.

"Oh no, my perfect face! Hurry Sango, help me!"

Sango ran towards me with lipstick in hand ready to reapply my make-up again. She slipped and the lipstick made small mark on my perfect dress.

"Oh no, my perfect dress!"

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

"Tonight is the night I get my revenge. My true form will instill fear throughout the student body of the pathetic school." Naraku plotted in his room with the window shades closed and the lights turned off.

"Naraku, honey, please don't show your penis to the poor students at that dance." Naraku's mother said as she was walking past Naraku's room.

"Don't discourage him, woman. Good for you, son." Naraku's father praised his son.

Naraku sighed.

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

"Well that was a damn good montage, InuYasha." Miroku spoke his praises.

"Damn straight. Let's go get ready." InuYasha said while they were walking back to the car.

"Hey guys." Koga said while approaching InuYasha and Miroku.

"Koga, are you going to the dance?" InuYasha asked.

"What dance?" Koga questioned.

"The one that was announced while you were too busy being an unimportant character in the story." Miroku stated.

InuYasha coughed loudly and nudged Miroku's arm.

"Well, I guess since I'm at the store already, I should just go- Guys?"

But they were already gone.

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

"It took a while, but I finally got the lipstick mark out of the dress." Sango said with a victorious smile on her face. "Kagome, you can stop crying now. Your mascara is running and it's making you look like a raccoon."

"You fixed it?" I asked hesitantly.

"I sure did." Sango stated proudly.

I put the dress back on and walked back to the mirror. Damn, I really did look like a raccoon.

"Girls, your dates are here!" My mother informed us.

"Tell them to wait! You can't rush perfection, and you also can't to-"

"Yes, you also can't top perfection, and I shouldn't even try. I know." My mother shouted back to me.

"Good, mom, very good." I praised my own mother.

Downstairs, Miroku and InuYasha sat down awkwardly next to my mother.

"So InuYasha, what are your intentions with my daughter?" My mother interrogated InuYasha.

"My intentions? What am I, a murderer?" InuYasha asked sarcastically.

My mother stared long and hard at InuYasha before closing her eyes, putting on a bright smile, and saying, "You pass!"

InuYasha, completely dumbfounded, just fell back in his seat with his mouth wide open.

Everyone's attention was drawn to the stairs as the tapping of high heel shoes against wooden steps was made apparent.

This cliché scene was one for the books.

Sango tripped over air, effectively knocking me off balance and falling on me as we tumbled down the stairs.

My mother's eyes widened in concern, Miroku broke out in uncontrollable laughter, and InuYasha still sat with his mouth open in shock from my erratic mother.

Sango stood up, walked towards the door and opened it. She then walked back to Miroku shouting, "Scissor Kick!"

Miroku flew through the opened door.

"Sango, your date's gone." InuYasha stated the obvious.

"Do you want to follow him?" Sango asked threateningly.

"I'll pass."

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

Random, unimportant nameless man #1 along with his date, random, unimportant nameless woman #1 were dancing when they heard a man's loud screaming. Seconds later, Miroku flew through the doors that just happened to be opened due to a couple walking inside.

"Miroku, how did you just-"

"Love." Miroku interrupted.

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

We walked out of our car and towards the entrance to the dance. As we entered, we were immediately greeted by the music blasting and people dancing.

"So you guys finally decided to show up." Miroku said appearing next to Sango.

"Damn, did I really kick you in the direction of the dance?" Sango asked in shock.

"Not exactly. At first, I was in orbit, but as I slowed down, I ended up flying through the doors." Miroku explained.

"Sango, go lay the weapons by the punch bowl." I told her.

InuYasha didn't even bother asking. At this point, this was actually to be expected. About time he got the memo.

Sango did what I said and laid the weapons next to the table which held the refreshments. Several students' eyebrows rose at the out-of-place objects lying next to the table.

Miroku dragged Sango to the dance floor and I did the same with InuYasha. Moments later, Naraku burst through the doors.

"Everybody, cover your eyes. Naraku's about to reveal his dic-" Random, unimportant nameless man #1 warned.

"Shut up, damn it! This is my true form!" Naraku exclaimed as his body underwent a ridiculous transformation. Tentacles sprouted from his body and his skin tone took on a more grayish hue.

"Alright, who the hell spiked the punch bowl?" One student asked in anger and disbelief.

"Seriously, I probably shouldn't have done all those drugs before coming here." Another student muttered with his head held low.

'Apparently, they don't believe their eyes.' Naraku thought.

"Quick, go get those weapons Sango!" I commanded. "It's time to kick some ass!"

"Got it!" Sango said as she sprinted towards the table that the weapons were currently.

"A bow and arrows for Kagome, a sword that defies all physics for InuYasha, and a massive boomerang for me!" Sango said as she gave everyone their respective weapons.

"What about me?" Miroku cried.

"What about you?" Sango countered.

Miroku silently sobbed.

InuYasha just looked down at his physic-defying sword as Sango threw her boomerang and I shot my arrows.

"Come on InuYasha, you got to fight too." I said.

'They seem way too damn enthusiastic for this.' InuYasha thought before charging in with his sword.

'Why the hell did they bring weapons? What the hell is wrong with these people?' Naraku thought dumbfounded as the relentless attacks on his body carried on.

The fight dragged on and InuYasha, Sango, and I were feeling fatigued. Miroku was still sobbing.

InuYasha was knocked to the ground by one of Naraku's tentacles and Naraku was about to deliver the finishing blow. Sango and I were in no position to assist him and Miroku's eyes were still draining like a bad faucet.

The tentacle, which was about to end InuYasha's life, stopped suddenly. Everyone's eyes widened as Naraku fell to the ground with a knife hanging from his chest. The knife pierced his heart.

"Hey look I got him." Koga said proudly.

"Koga, y-you just-" I stuttered.

"Yeah, I saved the day. Pretty cool, huh?"

"You actually did something for once." I spoke out in utter shock.

~This is a Break. Get Broken~

"Well, now that a group of our students just murdered another student, who happened to be a giant tentacle monster, let's announce the cutest couple at this dance! The votes are in and the winner is…" Our school president said as someone handed her the results of the contest.

I closed my eyes as a huge smile spread across my face. It had to be me because, well, you can't top perfection. Don't try to, you'll hurt yourself.

"…Random, unimportant nameless man #1 and random, unimportant nameless woman #1!" The president said as she gave the lucky couple a round of applause.

"Rigged. The goddamn thing is rigged!" I screamed.

Miroku was still crying and everyone was congratulating the winning couple. Sango just stared at the couple with her mouth agape. InuYasha massaged his temple trying to force down the oncoming headache. Koga, well, no one really knows where Koga went. But wherever he is, I'm sure he's being just as unimportant as ever.

**The End.**

**Haha. Well, that was a ride. I'm not sure what my next story will be, but I know for sure I'll never forget this story. Toss a review my way if you're feeling nice. Oh yeah, I'm also going to go back and correct some grammar mistakes from the previous chapters. Peace out.  
>EDITED!<strong>


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